Thursday, August 30, 2012

Catholic Nuns and Islam: Get in the Habit


My pal, Sister Annelle*, sent me an absurdly large book on Islam awhile ago. I questioned her dropping the dough to send an 8-pound book halfway across the world, but it has since proven fairly useful. 

The first line of this encyclopedia reads, “One can wonder whether in all the human sciences there is a greater need for a reference work than for this one in hand.” This turned me off right away. Pretty lofty opinion of a book, I’d say. But, as it goes on further, I found it has a point: “The world, especially the Western world towards which this encyclopedia is primarily directed, desperately needs to understand Islam better.” It further quotes a reporter, Meg Greenfield:


 “We are heading into an expansion of the American relationship with that complex of religion, culture and geography known as Islam…no part of the world is more important to our own well-being at the moment – and probably for the foreseeable future…[and] no part of the world is more hopelessly and systematically and stubbornly misunderstood by us.” 

Word.

We Don't Know Much 
Generally speaking, I'd say most Americans don't know much about Islam. Me included. 

Some time ago, I finished up "Krakatoa" by Simon Winchester. While an enjoyable read, he implies that the increase of madrasahs is a sign that Indonesia could be veering toward a dangerous path. I found myself immediately questioning, "Hmm. Why does he infer that madrasahs are bad?" 

I never would have asked this question two years ago. 

Words like madrasah, pesantren, Mecca evoke something. Less than 1% of Americans are Muslim.** Our exposure is limited. I had a couple of Muslim friends when I was younger, but you don't really get down to the nitty-gritty of, you know, the Koran and Hajj and all that when you're fifteen. I just knew my friend had to borrow leggings and a long-sleeve shirt to wear while swimming in our pool.

After reading Winchester's passage while my host ibu prayed maghrib in the next room, I realized, "Wait a sec, I teach in a madrasah." And most of my students live in a pesantren. I'm not sure I necessarily see the cause for concern as I once might have. Perhaps it's more important to take note of what teachings are on the rise in these new schools.

Most Americans may hear the word "madrasah" and think it's a place where everyone is planning the next big jihad. In my neck of the woods, my madrasah is sometimes reminiscent of Catholic high school. Instead of nuns and altar boys, there are jilbabs and about a hundred student members of the school's Red Cross. Still plenty of praying though. And religion classes. And uniforms. 

I love my school. The teachers, along with the students they teach, are a family, and they openly welcomed me to be a part of that. From where I sit, it seems the teachers at my school are just trying to give our kids a little confidence and some kind of direction to stay on the straight and narrow. Curiously, in both my Catholic high school and my madrasah, this includes not allowing boys' hair to touch their shirt collar. 

All Muslims Are Not the Same
The above seems like a pretty silly statement. Yet, when I recently went home to visit America, on my first day back I was asked to break down, "What are Muslims like?" I immediately chuckled at this notion. 

Only to be put in my place later. 

After living in the world's largest Muslim country for a year and a half, I have certainly gained a better understanding of the world's second largest religion. However, I still know very little, and after only a few brief experiences at home, I realized that, despite all I've learned, I'm still guilty of that same sort of thinking. Sometimes, I take what I see in my village, and I naively think that translates across the board.

Buka Puasa, or Iftar in America 
For example, I attended an iftar, or breaking of the daily Ramadhan fast at a university in New York with a friend (for a review of what Ramadhan's about, check out last year's post here =>Top 5 Things I Didn't Know About the Holy Month of Ramadhan). 

I watched fellow New Yorkers perform the prayer movements following the call to maghrib. As I expected, it was familiar. It felt like home. My Javanese home. Aside from the plethora of metal-studded belts, designer jeans, and the wider variety of skin tones, that is. 

But then, I was struck by all that was different.
  • Why aren't women wearing the prayer shawl they wear in Indonesia? 
  • Why aren't they doing the same placement of feet in the prayer motion that my ibu strictly coached me on when I practiced to follow Eid (Idul Fitri) prayers? 
  • Why do some women not wear the hijab (jilbabs) at all? 
  • And, hold, up - breaking fast can include make-your-own tacos?! 
As people patiently answered my questions and educated me about the different Islamic schools of law, cultural influences, and personal preferences, I was internally comprehending what I assumed I already understood. "Oh, so you mean there is a wide spectrum of interpretations of Islam?"

And these were merely physical things. I was barely skimming the surface of attire and taco toppings here.
 
A week later, I put in a full day of fasting*** during my backyard farewell party. After that, I hit the local, hometown mosque for another iftar - totally unannounced and wholeheartedly welcomed. 

With a nun. 

My aunt, Sister Tesa, also wanted to check it out. As usual, she instantly Tesa-hoot-laughed her way into everyone's hearts, and through her schmoozing, she also discovered the iftar buffet had been carted all the way from near her home in Queens. 

Aside from the obvious switch of being escorted to a Muslim event by a woman of the cloth, this iftar had a totally different feel from the first. With a larger Indian and Pakistani community, this mosque down the street from my parents' house furthered my remedial education on just how widely culture colors Islam. 

Tesa also found a new place in her hood to pick up some Pakistani grub. 

 

So Where To?
I know we all can’t take off and live for two years in a Muslim country (although, I highly recommend it, should you get the chance). Even if you could, we’ve established here that I still don’t really know what I’m talking about.

But, maybe it's a good idea to take a step back once in awhile and own up to the fact that we don't know as much as maybe we think we do. Maybe before anything else, we could take a sec and make a valid attempt to understand how varied we all really are - and how nuanced things very quickly get - even within those groups who wear one brand of religion or another (stay tuned for exciting post entitled Big News! We Are All, Indeed, Different).

Let’s ask some questions. Let's widen our scope. Let’s make a new friend. 

Let’s do it over tacos. 

These nuns sure seem to have the right idea. 



I understand that my small patch of life here isn’t the way it is for Muslims in America - or in all Muslim countries - or even parts of this Muslim country (unfortunate current events in Madura duly noted) - but here are some of my favorite Muslims in my little corner of the world.

 
This pic was brought back by popular demand
*General take is that marriage is half of the calling of Islam, and fearing Allah is the other. When I've discussed about nuns or priests with friends in my Muslim community, it is always seen as a pretty wacky notion - to not get married and remain celibate. We do have Indonesian Catholic nuns and priests here, though. 

Special note here that Sr. Annelle, a PhD and Associate Prof. of Sociology & Behavioral Medicine at St. John's University, is also the only American nun I know to send anyone anywhere special Eid packages two years in a row. Thanks again, Annelle! 

**I mentioned this before, but the largest Muslim American population is currently found in the Dearborn, Michigan area.

***Originally, when I went home, I had grandiose plans of fasting during my two-week stay to experience what Ramadhan is like for an American Muslim. I reconsidered this experiment for various reasons - the most convincing of which was the easy access to Eggo waffles and Entenmann’s Fudge cakes.

My only full day of fasting in America followed two weeks of grossly gorging myself on foods I had not eaten in over a year. After this, my body probably needed a full day of not eating. While abstaining from food and drink for this one day, I did muster the energy to have a catch, play some Baggo, make a whirlpool, and hoard/stash away party foods for after sundown

Sacrifice at its best.







Saturday, July 21, 2012

Love Letters at Mid-Service

"Peace Corps is not a team sport."

I've been touting this ditty for a few months now, so I apologize to those who have heard it repeated. I do agree with this statement…to some extent. 
  • More than a year ago, I could be seen kneeling in front of the baggage scales at the JFK check-in, with the insides of my baggage sprawled before me as I tried to unpack and repack to make weight. It was a sorry scene played out by myself. 
  • Knowing little more than a few phrases in Indonesian, I was left at the doorstep of my training host family…on my own.  
  • After training, I got into a car with complete strangers to travel to my new home for the next 2 years. I was the sole bule traveling with people who looked at me like I was an alien. 
  • I could be seen taking my temperature with PC issued thermometers as I moaned in my bed at what turned out to be the early onset of dengue fever…also alone.
So, yeah, in a way it’s a solo event. PCVs each have to find their own way to keep going on duka days, and it’d be a tough job if we didn’t have some internal mechanism for constantly rebounding creatively. For instance, during Ramadhan this year, after breaking fast with my family and they've gone off to the nightly Tarawih prayers, I have committed myself to getting the stress relief and exercise I need after a day of fasting by dancing around my room to Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” (thanks Elle). You do what you gotta to get by.  

But – the thing is – I’d be crazy or more of an egotist than I ever thought if I truly believed I was doing this on my own. Between you and me, kids - on paper, this has been a rough seven months or so. But also somehow, in a weird way…not really - because I've had stellar support all around from family, friends, PC Staff, PCVs, my host families, my school, and my host community. It is an intricate and extensive netting strategically placed to catch me should I ever fall from my Circus of the Stars trapeze (which, no matter how impossible, still remains a dream of mine - especially if I should be allowed to share tent space with a young Alfonso Ribeiro or Rick Schroder).

What follows are love letters written to my family, my fellow volunteers, and my fellow teachers at my school at some point over the past 6 months. In an attempt to chronicle this experience, I wanted to publicly share about what it’s like to have such extraordinary people on my team. (Heads up – there’s a lot of talk of buses. Cut me some slack. I do spend a lot of time on them). 

Love to my Family:
16 April 2012 - Renewal
I was going on my 7th hour on a bus earlier today after having said good-bye to yet another volunteer who is going home early and stopping to visit another who always seems to be on the fence, and I realized I have been here a year.

It seems it.

Not in a bad way really, but I realized this thing is.....LONG. Sorry about that.

Discussing with Trish when she was here, she kept saying it must be so hard for me here. And I told her that it really isn't. It is hard being away from friends and family, for sure, and I certainly have had my fill of blaring Indonesian music on those long bus rides and that tough, fatty beef (blegh), but I said that, hands down, it is harder for my family.
I get to be here and be distracted by all of this craziness. I meet new people, learn new things...there is something new every day. I had to build a whole other life here, and I am propelled from one thing to the next. Sure, it is tiring sometimes or annoying or uncomfortable. Sure, it is different. But after going through a standard low period recently and being grumpy the past couple of weeks during skype or phone calls, I realized I haven't done a very good job rallying on the home front.

So - You made it through one year!!!!! Good job everybody! You guys have been calling, keeping me updated, skyping, sending a record number of packages (at time of writing, I am currently trying to a kick a Dove caramel habit. It's a quarter bag a day). You have supported me the whole way on this ridiculous whim of mine. Heck, Mike had to travel halfway around the world just to suffer through a beating at badminton at the hands of my fellow teachers. It is much appreciated, and I don't say it enough.

If this were a marathon, at this point, I'd say to myself, "OK, let's do that last bit one more time. You did it once. You can do it again." While I may not exactly be at the half, or the figurative Long Island City/Buzzie's Bar point of this thing, I feel the cheers, and this time next year will be the home stretch. I can't imagine what it is like on that side, but I hope you can rally to do it again. It is a great gift you have given me, and I will probably spend the rest of my life trying to repay it.

In the words of Michael's favorite singer, oh family "well you came and you gave without taking...and I miss you today."*

*Incidentally, my training host sister was not happy when I told her the song was actually about a dog.
Love to my fellow PCVs:
19 February 2012 - Here We Are (after 4 days of language camp)
Today, I was ushered onto my third moving bus of the day after darting across a busy jalan, dodging sepeda motors. I took my seat and felt proud to hold my own in describing what exactly I was doing in such a place to the ibus and conductor who were questioning my presence. Knowing this is something I absolutely could not have done last year at this time or could have ever imagined I would EVER be able to do -  and the fact that this is now old hat to me, I allowed myself to sit back and dwell a bit in my awesomeness in growing so much in the past year. 
The standard East Java scenes of pasars, padis, Indomarets and masjids continued to flash by, and then we entered a forest offering some enjoyable shade and a break from the everyday views. I realized we were hitting a town where Wawan mentioned an ID6er will most likely be placed. I tried to take note of the area should I ever visit him/her in the future, hardly believing this could be happening sooner rather than later.

And I was so happy.

Even with the competing dangdut karaoke and bus musicians, the sweat and the cramped space -  I hit the suka.

Somehow when I wasn't looking, we rounded a bend. At some point, 5-8 hour bus rides became no big deal, and saying good-bye to each other to go back to site somehow got easier. And coming together when we get to do so is so comfortable that Elle can shove me over on the bed when I've taken it over, I can ridicule Jay's meticulous sign making, Tim will have patience to teach me guitar, John can get us all talking about our weirdest co-worker and demonstrate his sign dancing, Krystal will travel for what she thought would be an hour (really 2+) just to hang and walk a few miles along a busy road with us, Natasha will make us amazing brownies and patiently try to help me differentiate my memper-s from my memper-kans, and Nicole can unabashedly reveal that she didn't truly know the meaning of the word "uncle" until watching the Lion King.

It just feels like family to me - a weird, special, poop-discussing, joffle-making, juice-drinking, juggling PC Indo family that I am proud to say I will be a part of for the rest of my life. One that supports and gets me back on my feet to get back out there and do what I came here to do. That is pretty amazing.
As this thing picks up its pace, and I realize I am no longer just fighting to make it through to the next day - I have started to think about that time when we are at home later in our lives thinking back on this whole mess. Maybe I won't remember how to successfully di-, ter-, or ke-an in bahasa Indonesia, but I am pretty sure I'll look back and feel lucky I was with you all in the attempt.  So, thanks.
Love to my school:
20 June 2012 - Syukuran and Speech at a teacher meeting at 1 year anniversary. It was delivered in English and translated by teachers from my Teacher’s English Club.
Yesterday, coming from Ngawi, a road I’ve taken so many times now – I started to pass places that have become so familiar -  Bu Yoan’s house, Bu Yani’s road by the market, Sariyo  where I went swimming with Class XI and my neighbors, Kampoeng Nonong where I broke fast during Ramadhan with Mbak Nur, Mbak Ira, Bu Nuris, Pak Novi, Pak Rizani, and Bu Olif, the badminton court where Pak Yusuf, Pak Edy and I play, and then I passed MAN [our school]. And I felt …home.
I was happy to be coming home.
And that is because of all of you.
I want to thank you so much for being kind and patient with me this past year. I especially want to thank Pak Bambang, Pak Syaif, Pak Matt, and Bu Olif for all of their help. 
I came here one year ago – with different skin, from a different culture, and from a different religion – but you welcomed me. I am so thankful that you let me be your friend, and even moreso - I am honored to be a part of your family.
I want to thank you so much.  It has meant more to me than you will ever know.
Love from my students:
“I sorry, Bu. I always sleep.” -  Sutrisno, Class XI
Love from my Ila, my host niece:
"Ms Erin – you lose again. You shuffle!" (I may have lost in UNO, but, hey, let’s check out that English!)
Love from my kids:


And now, let's review objectives:
1) Year 1 Objective: Survive 
  • Objective attained. We did it!!!! Good job everybody!
2) Year 2 Objective: Be an Effective Volunteer 
  • Hmm. Whatever that means. We may need to call a team meeting on this one, guys. Let’s bring it in, people….

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Expressions of Annoyance and Anger

I am thankful I took up swearing before I came to Indonesia. It was never really my thing, and I was incapable of pulling it off effectively. My friend Goob* can attest to this, as he loves to cite the only time he ever heard me say the “F” word in my youth. It was in response to his unfair guarding of the jail during a manhunt game. To this day, I feel the expletive was fully warranted, even if it was poorly executed. Concealing himself behind a bush and acting as if it wasn't cheating was intolerable. 

The swearing started brewing over the years as I began running more. It served as a valuable outlet when I was annoyed by other runners: the stomper, the guy who wore bells on his shoes, the intermittent sprinter/walker. I find it's a welcome and healthy release of aggression - an indispensable tool in maintaining my cool (if I ever had it). 

I haven't hit Jersey Shore or sailor status as of yet, but one needs these little stress relievers for daily life. It is especially nice here since no one knows what I am saying. For fun, sometimes I swear away on my bike as I’m waving to the folks along the road, and by the time I'm home, I feel oddly refreshed. 

Pet Peeves
Recently, I made a list of things here that unleash these fun-loving swear binges:
  • Going to the mandi and knowing someone just peed in it (no bowl – just straight on the floor. You know, the one I stand on barefoot.)
  • Two TVs blaring the same show 5 feet from each other and no one else is home watching either of them
  • Cats falling on my bed in the middle of the night
  • Cats, in general (sorry, Henry)
  • Someone riding along side me or directly behind me on his/her motorcycle as I ride my bike
  • Person in the above scenario trying to have a conversation with me
  • Dodging opening car doors as well as motorcycles, becaks, or horse-drawn carts that pull out in front of my bike without looking
  • A person who sits next to me on the bus when there are so many other seats empty
  • The one printer at school is out of ink, not working, or simply has disappeared.
  • The fact that none of my students, boys or girls, can leave class to go to the bathroom by themselves
  • Someone I barely know texting me in excess of three times in a row within a 3-minute period before I ever had a chance to respond (The record is 32 unrequited texts in a 10-minute period all from the same person.)
  • 5am phone calls from 8-year olds
  • 5am phone calls from anyone
  • People saying insyaAllah as if that is all they need. Last time I checked with the Almighty, studying is still required to pass a test (NOTE: After jotting this one down some months ago, they may have something here as studying really doesn't seem to help pass the test. Check for upcoming post entitled "Tests and Time". Still, I'm sure the Big Guy appreciates a little effort.)
  • A women in a toko 1) talking below an audible whisper to me 2) in Javanese 3) as a TV is blaring at an excessive volume directly next to me (the trifecta of communication annoyances here). Then, this same woman getting visibly bothered that I couldn’t properly respond.  
  • All the teachers wearing the new sports uniform we received the day before, while I am wearing the old, tired ohlaraga. One after another, about eight teachers in succession asking why I am not wearing the new uniform. How - the Clark Griswold - am I supposed to know we were supposed to wear it if no one took a second to tell me? 
Fact is, any one of the above things could happen to me on a good day, and I’d either barely notice it or easily shrug it off, simply because I am coming at it from my happy place of respect and understanding. Once I enter that dark place, however, these things could send me spiraling down that diaper-wearing, BB-gun-toting, balcony-baby-dangling, hamburger-eating-on-the-bathroom-floor road to crazy.

The saturation point. 

I can usually tell when I am reaching it by the frequency with which I am getting aggravated by things – sort of how you can count the seconds between thunder and lightning to measure how close a storm is. The more rapid these occurrences of exasperation come to me, the sooner I need to be removed from the streets and confined, so as to protect the safety of others.

Bottom line: The problem is usually me. And as a volunteer, I try to manage and buffer my occasional irritability so as not to cause an unintentional international incident.

Perspective
For some perspective, it helps to keep in mind that I am most likely probably annoying the heck out of others from time to time. While researching a lesson for my 11th graders called “Expressions of Annoyance and Anger,” I discovered that I possess a multitude of characteristics that many in this world find particularly infuriating: random whistling, laughing too loud, talking or kicking in my sleep (apologies to all the other female PCVs I have already pushed off the bed in my short tenure here), excessive cheeriness, constantly misplacing things, referencing outdated TV/movies, arriving late to functions, my inability to ever consume a beverage silently...a real treat, aren’t I?

Not fully aware of what pet peeves exist in my new culture, I started wondering what it is that annoys my students - who I believe to be some of the world's most mild-mannered teens. I had them write down what irritates them or makes them upset, and here, in their own words, are some things they came up with:

  • "When waiting long time for bus to go home."
  • "When someone promise, but she can’t keep her promise."
  • "When I singing before class." (I made this student sing in English when he came 30 minutes late to class the day before. Good to know I can be a source of annoyance in all cultures.)
  • "I annoyed moment stand in line bathe in the cottage." (Most students live in a pesantren and have to get in line at ungodly hours of the morning to wait to use the few bathrooms there.)
  • "When friend wound heart me."
  • "My friends always mean to me." 
  • "My friend is made a mean joke."
  • "When I don’t have money."
  • "If nothing food for eat."
Not exactly the inner rage I was hoping for, but certainly a bit of a different perspective (and an eye-opener that maybe we need some healthy sessions on how to be a good friend). Reading my students' writing always helps me refocus and remember that those little things that can bug me don't really amount to a hill of kacang in this world. 

What Makes It All OK  
Sitting at graduation a couple of weeks ago, I couldn’t help but think of one short year from now when graduation will be one of my last events here. For all the daily annoyances and frustrations, I can already see that leaving here will be a complete shit show. Complete.**

I’m not a particularly good TEFL teacher. I have not initiated any large-scale projects in my desa, nor am I sure if I ever will. I can’t even get teens here to understand that “punk” is something completely different from what they think it is (Linkin Park? Come on, guys!). But I have a lot of love to give. I am good at that.

For the most part (though some readers may disagree).

I fall hard and fast. It’s how I roll. I get easily attached...

...to those squishable babies and kiddies on my street
...to my ibu and niece as they mock my every move 
...to the “naughty” teens in my classes who I can plainly see are special and smart and talented - in addition to having outrageously awesome hair (watch for upcoming piece on Desa Do’s)
...and to my fellow teachers with whom I karaoke, aerobicise, and share the wonders of sarcasm.


Leaving here won’t be pretty. 

Neither is this footage of me singing karaoke at graduation. Enjoy. 


And here is one of the first weddings I actually took pleasure in attending because it was for my two friends, Mbak Ira and Mr. Novi. I was able to work the crowd and hang out with all my peeps, drinking some refreshing es in the shade.







Baby Aira, at 3 months old, is already way cooler than me as she rocks it on the back of her mom's motorcycle.
*Don’t we all have a Goob in our lives? If not, you certainly should. 
**No, not literally, Aaron.